We are more often than not caught up between yes and no. Although making decisions is very common in our daily lives, but decisions - even smaller ones - are not easy to make. Even in trivial matters, we find ourselves locked in a state of indecisiveness. Consequently, we feel anxious, and often alone. No wonder we are experiencing 'decision stress' more than ever before and as our stress levels increase - anger, irritable behaviour and sometimes, even violence emerge from our lives.
While a routine decision is easy to make, it is when we are confronted by unexpected situations that our power to take the correct decision fails us. That is when we try to rely on our rationale. The irony is, despite having a wise rationale, we are still unable to do the right thing. While making a decision is a crucial part of everybody's life, it is a pretty tricky proposition. But Osho insists, "Only you can decide".
Osho's insight is significant when he says: "Decisiveness brings light. Even if you decide to remain the same, even that will bring light to you; things will be clear. Even if you decide wrongly, then too the decision is good. If you decide rightly it is a great blessing, but if you decide wrongly, then too it is better than an indecisive state of mind."
Nobody can decide anything for us. Yes, others can help, but the decision has to be ours -because through it, explains, Osho, our soul is going to be born. "Decision should arise in our being, because with decisiveness arises integrity. So it's important to make a decision because that will help make you an individual!"
One can start making decisions in small things, for example, if somebody decides to go to sleep at 10 o'clock, then it is always good go to sleep. It is not very important whether one goes to sleep at 10 or 11; that is not important, but deciding makes one feel very good. To just start being decisive in as many things as possible, the individual will find more and more decisiveness coming to him. It needs practice, that's all. We have never practiced it; we have always been hanging in a vague way, ambiguous, this or that. One can go on hanging between this and that the whole life.
Ordinarily the problem is created because people make much fuss about the right thing to be decided. We have been taught always to decide the right thing. It is not always so easy to decide whether this is right or not.
Osho's approach is "Don't be bothered too much about making right and wrong decisions, and don't be bothered about what is better. The whole thing at stake is to be decisive. Try in as many things as possible, and then after a few months you will suddenly see that a new kind of center has arisen in you from where decisions easily flow, they don't take so long a time. If a decision takes too much time it is always inadequate, because the right moment, the right situation is already gone. By the time you decide it is no more the moment for it, so you are lagging behind. For example, somebody says something and you start deciding what to answer. By the time you decide, the man is gone, or whatsoever he said has become already irrelevant; it needs no answer now."
Life is a constant state of decisiveness. Each moment one has to decide. Sometimes not knowing what is right and what is wrong, sometimes not knowing which is better, one has to decide. One cannot afford not to decide otherwise one will start disintegrating.
Osho says, "Your making the decision alone will bring an end to the state of unconsciousness, because a decision cannot emerge in an unconscious state. Lacking decisiveness, you will simply go on drifting here and there, pushed by the society. So if you stay indecisive, the state of unconsciousness will become more and more condensed. There is only one wrongdoing - not to make a decision. And there is only one virtue - to be decisive." So be decisive!
Only through decisions one becomes more and more conscious, more crystallized; only through decisions one becomes sharp, otherwise one remains dull. People go on from one guru to another, from one temple to another not because they are great seekers but because they are incapable of deciding. So they keep wandering. This is their way to avoid commitment.
The same happens in other human relationships as well: a man goes from one woman to another, goes on changing people. People think he is a great lover but he is not a lover at all. He is avoiding, he is trying to avoid any deep involvement because with deep involvement, problems have to be faced, and much pain has to be gone through. So one simply plays safe; one makes it a point never to go too deeply into somebody.
To live happily with another person is the greatest challenge in the world. It is very easy to live peacefully alone but very difficult to live peacefully with somebody else, because two worlds meet and collide - two totally different worlds. It is very difficult to be peaceful in a relationship, but that is the challenge. If one escapes from that, s/he escapes from maturity. If one goes into it with all the pain, and still continues going into it, then by and by the pain becomes a blessing, the curse becomes a blessing. By and by, through the conflict, the friction, crystallization arises. Through the struggle, one becomes more alert, more aware.
Osho explains, "When you come to a Master, an even greater challenge exists before you: you have to decide, and the decision is for the unknown, and the decision has to be total and absolute, irreversible. It is not a child's game; it is a point of no return. So much conflict arises. But don't go on continuously changing, because this is the way to avoid yourself. You will remain soft, you will remain babyish. Maturity will not happen to you. Only the unknown should have a call for you because that you have not yet lived; you have not moved in that territory. Move! Something new may happen there. Always decide for the unknown, whatsoever the risk, and you will grow continuously. But go on deciding for the known and you move in a circle with the past again and again. You go on repeating it; you have become a gramophone record."
He further says, "Decide. The sooner you can do so, the better. Postponement is simply stupid. Tomorrow you will also have to decide, so why not today? And do you think that tomorrow you will be wiser, livelier, younger or fresher than today? Tomorrow you will be older, your courage will be less; tomorrow you will be more experienced, your cunningness will be more; tomorrow death will come closer; you will start wavering and your being more afraid. Never postpone for tomorrow. And who knows? Tomorrow may come or may not come. If you have to decide you have to decide right now."