Mind Over Matter | 27 May, 2019

1. I am in the 8th standard. I feel I tend to get worked up and annoyed pretty soon. This effects my relationship with my near and dear ones. I react badly towards my parents too. Though I try very hard to control my anger, this is creating tension between my family. I feel bad later on.

(Name withheld)

Ans: I am glad you are aware of your anger problem and want help to control it. There are effective anger management strategies available. Discuss with your parents and share with them that you want help to manage your anger problem. I am sure they will be happy to help you out. Go for a few sessions on anger management from a trained Counsellor or Psychologist. You will benefit. All the best.

1. My son is 14 years old and he believes that he is in love with one of his classmate. He is very much keen that we meet her. Presently he is well settled with his studies but we can't help worry that if this continues gradually his academics will come down. How do we manage this entire situation at hand? Kindly share your valuable suggestions. Thanks in advance.

(Name withheld)

Ans: This age is very crucial and requires careful handling. We cannot be too strict or harsh with our children. It may push them away from us. Your son is at least opening up to you which is positive. Sit him down and talk to him. Explain his priorities gently. He seems matured enough to understand. Divert his energies towards his future planning. At the same time don't negate his feelings so he may not feel comfortable to open up to you in the future.

1. My daughter is 8 years old. I want to know how discipline points from you. Please give me some tips on discipline as I don't want to take risk of any emotional damage. I see so much emotional damage nowadays. It is extremely worrying for us parents. Hence we thought of taking a professional opinion. Kindly advice.

(Name withheld)

Ans: Many times children distract their parents with their naughtiness and disobedience. Children whose parents discipline them by hitting, nagging, or shouting at them on a regular basis, have a tendency to be more violent and aggressive than other children who are disciplined through other means. It is important for you as a parent to establish authority over your daughter but without getting into a power struggle. Consistency is important at this stage. Your daughter should be made to believe that you mean what you say. You should try and follow through with what you say. Be careful not to make unrealistic threats of punishment in anger, since not following through could weaken all your threats. Severe punishments may take away your power as a parent.

(Ms. Gariasi Dutta is Psychological Counsellor with downtown hospitals, Guwahati. She can be contacted at 98640-55560 or dutta.gariasi@gmail.com)