Mind Over Matter | 15 Jan, 2019

1. My son is becoming very aggressive. He gets angry for small things. When he is angry he gets out of control. He will break things in the house. One day he even hit his sister badly. It's been about 4 months now. His studies are suffering and teachers have given a negative feedback too. I tried to talk to him but he doesn't cooperate. He gets angry. I'm feeling very helpless. What do I do?

(Name withheld)

Ans: Try and find out if your son is using any addictive substance. Further try and meet with his friends. It may help give an idea regarding his behaviour change. Talk with his teachers regarding his behaviour in school/college. Though it is frustrating as a parent, please be patient. Getting worked up won't help. You could also motivate your son and take him to meet with a counsellor.

1. My son is 15 years old and he claims to be in love with his class mate. He wants us to meet her. Right now his studies are fine but we are worried that if it continues, his academics will come down. How should we handle him?

(Name withheld)

Ans: This age is very crucial and requires careful handling. We cannot be too strict or harsh with our children. It may push them away from us. Your son is at least opening up to you which is positive. Sit him down and talk to him. Explain his priorities gently. He seems matured enough to understand. Divert his energies towards his future planning. At the same time don't negate his feelings so he may not feel comfortable to open up to you in the future.

1. My daughter is angry all the time and remains quite irritated. She is 12 years old. She is so cranky and argues whenever I ask her anything. We are quite concerned.

(Name withheld)

Ans: Your daughter is embarking on a new journey. Teenage is quite a tumultous stage for every child. They go through a lot of changes be it physical or emotional. During this time, most children experience difficulties in regulating their emotions and often act out as a result. There is no point in being strict. We have to handle these situations patiently though we may feel otherwise. Talk to your daughter when she is in a calm frame of mind. Try not to preach. Teens hate that. You could also try and motivate her to take up relaxation activities. Or take up a hobby of her choice. Best wishes.

6. My daughter off late has become very quiet. She is in class 6. She doesn't share her thoughts. After coming from school, she directly goes to her room. During meal time too, she eats her food in her room. We are trying to leave her alone. (Name withheld)

Ans: Please don't leave her alone. That's not a very good idea at all. Wait for an appropriate moment and try talking to her. Or request a relative with whom she is comfortable with to talk to her. Try and meet her teachers in school and find out how she is faring in school presently. This way you will get additional information. If this doesn't work, please meet with a counsellor who could help you.

(Ms. Gariasi Dutta is a Psychological counsellor with down town hospital. She can be contacted at 9864055560 or dutta.gariasi@gmail.com)