Evolution Dislikes People who're too Intelligent!

As the years go by, this columnist becomes increasingly aware of the vital importance of being stupid. Consider the evidence. My ratiol friends said cryptocoins were stupid. An irratiol friend of a friend launched one and made a fortune.

My ratiol friends said marriage was stupid. My irratiol friends got hitched and have lovely families.

My ratiol friends said buying overpriced property was stupid. My irratiol friends shelled out for some and are now comfortable.

My ratiol friends said spiritual practices were stupid. My irratiol ones started meditating or praying and are visibly happier.

Irratiolity wins every time. I think many people suspect this is true, but I learned recently that science has proved it.

“The key is to be averagely irratiol,” said reader Jeha Tufiq, a science lecturer. “Of course, being excessively stupid is not good for you, but so is being excessively intelligent.”

Ultra-brainy people have fewer children — not necessarily because they prefer small families, but because it seems to be programmed into humanity at a genetic level, according to studies in the Proceedings of the tiol Academy of Science in the United States. “The spirit of evolution has a massive downer on excess braininess,” Jeha said.

Why would evolution prefer people who aren’t over-clever? One theory is that over-ratiol people train themselves to use only their logic circuits while the rest of us make sp decisions by a mixture of logic, instinct, impulse and emotion, using more of our brains, and leading to better outcomes and larger, happier families.

Evidence for this comes in the statistics that show that men who tend to strongly trust their own ratiol intelligence are far more likely to die in accidents than women, whose decisions involve a mixture of logic and intuition. It also explains why the winners of the Darwin Awards — titles given to people who remove themselves from the gene pool by doing what they think are ratiol actions — are a group which is 88.7 per cent male. A recent Darwin Award recipient was the late Lim Ba, who decided to steam-clean himself by sitting in a large steamer-wok which also contained rice, corn, etc. Saus are good for you, so being steamed should be great for his health, he ratiolised. He died soon after being cooked for 30 minutes in Kuala Sanglang, Malaysia, in October last year.

But of course, be careful to not overdo the irratiolity. Being extremely stupid is also deadly. A favourite bit of evidence is the terrorist who constructed a letter bomb but didn’t put enough stamps on it. The post office returned it to the sender. He opened it and was blown to pieces. It sounds like an urban legend, but it really happened.

How to get the balance right? That’s the tricky thing. If you accidentally kill yourself by firing a gun at your head to show it is unloaded, that’s an unfortute accident, all too common among males. If you accidentally kill yourself by firing a gun at your head to show it is loaded, that’s a sign of too little ratiolity, which is also all too common among males. Either way, you’re dead.

Note to male readers: Visit the kitchen if you must, but Stay Well Away from the wok. (IANS)