Jokes & humorous anecdotes: Integral parts of sports and games

Gautam Ganguly

(gautamganguly2012@gmail.com)

Wit, jokes, humorous anecdotes have always been inextricably linked with western ball games. Especially, games like cricket, football and tennis are a storehouse of enriched and side-splitting anecdotes. Needless to say that rollicking fun and jokes revolving around these games have contributed enormously to their sky-rocketing popularity, besides adding spice to the inherent greatness. The eternal human urge to look beyond the bare necessities of food, shelter, clothing and to seek amusement and relaxation has resulted in the phenomenal development of recreational avenues glorifying, thereby, the ingenuity of the human mind.

Cricket experts

are unanimous in stating that Oxford-educated, Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi, had pioneered and heralded a new era in Indian cricket by infusing fighting spirit among the players and inculcating a sense of pride to play for the country. It needs to be stated that Pataudi had lost one of his eyes in a road accident and played his entire test career with one eye. In the 1967-68 series against England, Pataudi had played a majestic inning of 164 runs at Old Trafford tearing apart the English bowlers. After the match, the English journalist asked Pataudi when did he realize that he could play fierce international cricket with 'one eye'?

Pataudi's prompt, witty reply was, "When I saw the English bowlers!"

The joke that became immensely popular after the England Football team's humiliating exit at FIFA World Cup, 2014, goes as follows. A seven-year-old boy, an orphan, used to be severely beaten by his uncle and aunt with whom he was staying. Based on complaints from the neighbours, the court had a fixed date of hearing. On the appointed day, the court had heard arguments and counter-arguments as to whom the poor boy was to be given custody. Finally, the court had pronounced its judgment that the boy is given custody to the English football team because the England team 'cannot beat anyone!!!

Here is an interesting real-life anecdote. Pele, undisputedly the best footballer the world has ever produced, was once passing through a bad phase. So, Pele had, reportedly, asked one of his friends to trace out the fan who had taken his favourite and lucky T-shirt. Pele told his friend that he was ready to give any price to get back that 'lucky 'T-shirt'. Believe it or not, when Pele had got back the T-shirt, luck swung and he scored two gems of goals playing for his club!!!

One of the popular jokes that magnify the passion for World Cup soccer goes like this. 'A football fan, Mr X, somehow, after a lot of effort, could finally manage a ticket at the FIFA, 2014 World Cup final. The entire stadium was jam-packed with a capacity crowd. Thousands of dejected spectators who could not get a ticket were standing outside. Mr X saw that a seat was laying unoccupied next to him. The surprised Mr X asked the man sitting next to the vacant seat if he had any idea about the unoccupied seat. The man politely told that the seat was meant for his wife and added further that both he and his wife had been watching successive World Cup Football finals, unfailingly, for the past 20 years. "This time too, I had bought the tickets. But, unfortunately, my wife has passed away," the man said. Mr X asked the man if he could have brought someone else like his son or daughter to watch the match. The man coolly said, "They all are in the funeral procession now."

In the 1982-83 Ashes series, Ian Botham, the great rounder was in devastating form. In their bid to perturb Botham, Rodney Marsh, the Australian wicketkeeper had asked Botham, "Welcome. How are your wife and my two kids?" Botham's calm reply, "My wife is fine. But your kids are mentally-retarded as the average Australians!!! The players nearby had all burst out into laughter."

'111' is considered to be an ominous number by a section of English people. David Shepherd, one of the all-time best umpires in the world, was always seen to be standing on one leg while umpiring, whenever any team reaches '111 'much to the amusement of spectators on the field and TV.

I wind up with this classic joke. A 'one-day cricket tournament' was organized by Bangladesh Cricket Board in 1998 to celebrate

'25 years of 'Bangladesh's independence. The exciting, electrifying final was played between India and arch-rival Pakistan that was won by Team India magnificently. Several Indian dignitaries were invited to the final. After the completion of the final, the Indian dignitaries thanked their Bangladeshi counterparts and invited them to come to India for a reciprocal visit. The Bangladesh officials informed that they would inform their programme to visit India. Hearing the comment, the accompanying Indian officials soliloquized, "They would be the first Bangladeshi to inform officially about entering India!!!!"