The Unseen Power of a Gift

Prof Dr. Karuna Hazarika

(Principal, Tezpur Medical College, drkaruna97@gmail.com)

"The happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more"

- H Jackson Brown Jr

Gifting is a worldwide phenomenon and has a distinct culture in different countries. Gifting started from the ancient days of human beings. Scientists believe that it may be bonded with our DNA. It is found that the primates bonobos and chimpanzees give gifts each other of food and tools. Human beings are not deviated from this and gifting is one of the oldest activities. In primitive culture gift-giving was common to show love and affection to each other. By the medieval era, gifts were considered as security for personal favour from the king and show loyalty in times of war. Even personal gifts like precious metal, herds of cattle, goats etc., were gifted as dowry. Every culture has its own traditions and etiquette for giving and accepting of gifts. No doubt giving a gift is a way of expressing love and gratitude, appreciation and recognizing special occasions and achievements. We all have the experience of giving and accepting gift in many occasions. It may be a simple obligation to fulfill for someone but it's a way to show love and empathy to connect and a deeper way of expression. Giving a thoughtful gift to someone is a way to show how well you know them and care. It not only shows the affection but also indicates volumes about how much you care for them and even a proper thoughtful gift with an apology may rebuild the broken relation or even covers the earlier poor behaviour. Gifting always reconfirms and rebuilds our connections to each other and reflects both the recipient and the giver and their relationship. Gifting allows us to communicate our feelings and appreciation for them.

There are different kinds of gifts and, of course, it is very difficult to select the right one. One of the greatest gift of recent times is the massive copper structure sent by the French to the United States to strengthen the bond, that is now known as Statue of Liberty, gift to Queen Amytis, the Hanging Garden of Babylon and the Taj Mahal and many more speak their feelings and bonding. One has to think about whom to offer the gift, the special or simple occasion and the most important is the budget. The next question of the gift is whether it should be a temporary one or long-lasting one and how close or personal it could be. Usually the temporary gifts are flowers, sweets on festivals, cosmetics, perfumes, gift cards, hampers, and wine etc., and one has to consider the person's choice too. In this category passes for special shows and even subscriptions of different magazines and other areas may also be considered and that will remind and keep the memories long-lasting. The long-lasting or permanent gifts could be anything from books, home decorative items, jewelries, clothes, cookeries, furniture and that depends on the nature of occasions. Some items like jewelry, clothes, perfume are usually given to the spouse and other intimates ones and family members and even close friends and one have to think carefully about the relationship before selecting a gift. An affordable and generous gift will always give more pleasure. An extravagant gift can be sometimes embarrassing for the recipient. Flowers, wine, liquor and even food items like chocolates are a great choice though it's temporary. Gift card or money is also another choice for gift and is quite popular during weddings and birthdays. But the most important is sticking to budget. One need to think about while buying a gift whether he is going to get it for himself or not and believe in yourself and think about the recipient.

Gifting etiquettes are different in different countries. "In China, India, and many other Asian countries, it is considered proper etiquette for the recipient to refuse a present, often two or three times." It does not mean that they do not appreciate gift. It's rather expression of their modesty and manners. Moreover, we are superstitious too. In China red colour is symbol of luck , so a red envelop is known for good luck and they use it for expressing their feelings wrapped with red paper and exchange red packet between friends and families. This is also common in other neighboring countries like in Vietnam, Singapore, and Malaysia etc. Chinese usually do not offer sharp objects as gift that may represent as severance of relationship. Likewise, they do not offer clocks as a gift because it means 'see off into death'. They consider even numbers as auspicious except the number four that sounds like 'death'. While in India we always add a single rupee in the cash amount while gifting in any occasion irrespective of value and considered as lucky and this a tradition too. India is a country with different culture and ethnicity so called a country 'unity in diversity'. Likewise customs and rituals are different but are unique. While gifting, a colourful wrapping paper is the choice and is always offered with both hands and received with right hand and the gift is never opened in front of the guest. It is customary to offer gift to the head of the family. There are plenty of occasions and festivals in Indian cultures and there is ample scope to offer gifts. In India gifts are never rejected. However, it needs to be less expensive so that the host can reciprocate. Sometimes gifts are offered as a helping hand; especially in Covid-19 pandemic people helped each other with packages of food items etc. In Japan, it is polite to offer and give gifts by both hands and they do not open the gift in front of the giver. Russians are particular in opening the gift. They do not open it in front of giver and it is advisable not to include an expensive gift. They consider flower bundles in even numbers as inappropriate and the yellow one is for funerals only. In French, timing and good taste of the gift is important. Most invitees bring gifts and presents before the meal or party. The company's logo in the gift is considered as poor taste. While red roses, chocolates or champagne are appropriate gifts for them, chrysanthemums are avoided and are used for funerals. In Maasai culture, mostly in Kenya and Tanzania, spitting is considered as great honour and they spit before handing over any gift in weddings and other occasions. They share their precious water to another person. Their spitting intention is different. Even we had the experience of recent controversy of one of the superstar of Indian cinema during the funeral of great Lata Mangeshkar.

Empathy is one of the important aspects of gifting and has the psychology in it. The giver and the recipient have the feelings of bonding and appreciation in the act of gifting and that releases endorphins into their brain and produces euphoria of pleasure and joy. Studies reveal gifting provides satisfaction to the giver and recipients and also experiences the feelings of positivity, generosity and value-added thoughts. Probably there are feelings of connection and happiness while purchasing a gift for someone. The feelings of happiness, which enlighten us while gifting, is the bonding of souls of the individuals, and the pleasure in it. This is also a greater social connection by gifting and over the entire feel good factor that matters. So it is said: "It isn't how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.''

Now e-marketing has made things easy to offer gifts to loved one of their choices. There are plenty of websites which offer same-day delivery on special occasions with selected flowers, chocolate and any other useful gifts to the recipients. But the pleasure of offering gifts lies on hand-to-hand delivery. However, the greatest gift one can offer is your time, your attention, your love, your compassion at time of sufferings, and your concern. A painter's fine piece of art, a musician's piece of music, a writer's small write-up or a book, a teacher's teachings, a good piece of oration of an orator are the one of the most precious gift to the mankind. No doubt, the greatest gift one can receive is another day of life as every breath, and every heartbeat, is a gift from God.