Unfiltered: Help young minds believe in their true worth

Suman Das

(The author is an education expert and can
be reached at emailid.suman@gmail.com)

In today’s digital world, the number of “likes”, followers, and comments on social media has quietly become a measure of self-worth for many adolescents. Over time, the lack of this external validation can make them feel invisible or inadequate. This constant comparison erodes their self-esteem and may lead to anxiety, body dissatisfaction, and even depression—impacting their school participation, relationships, and future aspirations.

“I don’t like how I look.”
“They call me too fat, too thin, too dark.”
“I don’t want to go to school because I feel ugly.”
“Everyone on Instagram looks better than me.”

These are not just small complaints. These are real thoughts and feelings many children and teenagers—especially girls—have every day. Behind the smiles in selfies and the stylish photos on social media, there is often sadness and insecurity. As adults—parents, teachers, and caregivers—we must understand how serious this problem is. We must help children, especially girls, to build healthy self-esteem and feel confident in who they are.

Today, the pressure to look “perfect” is everywhere—especially on social media apps like Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. Young people constantly see pictures of others who seem to have flawless skin, perfect bodies, and exciting lives. But what they don’t often realise is that many of these images are edited, filtered, or carefully planned to look perfect. These are not real pictures of everyday life. When children compare themselves to these unrealistic pictures, they often feel they are not good enough.

Both girls and boys are affected by these pressures, but girls are often more deeply hurt. From a young age, society teaches girls that being beautiful means having fair skin, being slim, and dressing a certain way. Social media adds more pressure by showing these ideas over and over again. Boys, too, face growing pressure to look muscular, tall, and confident. But for girls, these beauty standards often go further and can affect how they feel about their abilities in school, how they make friends, and even the careers they dream of.

In their quest to “fit in”, many young people feel compelled to present a flawless version of themselves online. They spend hours choosing the perfect angle, applying filters, or editing photos. The number of likes, comments, and followers becomes a measure of their value. If they don’t get that attention, they may start feeling invisible or not good enough. This constant comparison harms their self-worth and can lead to serious emotional issues.

Sadly, the problem does not end online. In real life too, comments from family members, friends, or teachers—like “You’ve gained weight,” “He’s too skinny,” or “She’s too dark”—can hurt deeply. Even if these words are not meant to be mean, they can leave a long-lasting emotional impact and make children feel bad about themselves.

According to the Dove Global Girls Beauty and Confidence Report, more than half of girls across the world are unhappy with how they look. This low self-esteem affects more than just their appearance. About 8 in 10 girls avoid going to school events, joining sports, or taking part in social activities because they are not confident about how they look. Boys also struggle. Some may become quiet or aggressive because they don’t know how to express their feelings. When children carry this kind of stress, it becomes hard for them to focus on school or enjoy life.

Parents play a powerful role in shaping how children see themselves. It’s important to have open conversations at home about how our bodies naturally change, how social media often shows unrealistic or edited images, and what real beauty truly means. Instead of only complimenting a child’s appearance, parents should also celebrate qualities like kindness, creativity, honesty, and resilience. Children are deeply influenced by what they see and hear around them. When parents speak kindly about themselves and others and show self-acceptance, children learn to value and accept themselves too.

Teachers have an equally important responsibility. Schools should be safe, welcoming spaces where every student feels respected and included. Teachers must actively address and discourage teasing, bullying, or body-shaming. Integrating topics such as media literacy, emotional well-being, and body image into everyday lessons helps students critically reflect on what they see online and recognise that beauty and self-worth come in many forms. When schools embrace diversity, kindness, and respect, they help all students—especially girls—build stronger self-esteem.

Structured, school-based programmes play an important role in this process. They give students practical tools to understand media pressure, resist harmful comparisons, and recognise their inner strengths. These initiatives show how consistent and collective support from the school community can shape more positive attitudes, improve mental health, and build lasting emotional resilience.

Communities can help too. Youth clubs, local organisations, influencers and community leaders can organise discussions on body confidence and mental health. In places like rural Assam, where children are now getting more access to mobile phones and the internet, it’s important to talk about the dangers of online comparison and beauty myths. Positive role models—teachers, elders, or local influencers—can inspire self-acceptance and encourage open dialogue.

In the end, true beauty and self-worth are not about fair skin, perfect bodies, or wearing the latest fashion. Real beauty is about being kind, strong, honest, and proud of who you are—inside and out. Every child—especially every girl—deserves to grow up feeling that they are enough, just as they are.

As parents, teachers, and community members, we must take responsibility to protect this belief. When we help children feel confident and proud of themselves, we’re not just making their present better—we’re helping them build a future full of hope, courage, and success.