A psychological analysis of the series ‘Perfect Family’

Dr Rijusmita Sarma

(drrijusmita1010@gmail.com)

‘Perfect Family’ isn’t just another family drama. It’s more of a psychological exploration of the dynamics of a seemingly normal and happy middle-class Indian family. Navigating through the effects of systemic dysfunction on individual mental health. The show is thoughtfully curated to conceptualize the unhealthy emotions and behaviour and maladaptive coping strategies adopted by each individual. The journey of the family through therapy is the part of the show that makes it not only a ‘must-watch’ but also a ‘much to be contemplated and talked about’ series.  Produced by Pankaj Tripathi’s Jar Pictures, directed by Sachin Pathak, portrayed by a virtuoso cast, and assembled by a very competent crew, this show is about a family experiencing dysfunctions and its journey through therapy. I appreciate the makers of this show for choosing to curate this masterpiece. It is a much-needed mirror held for the viewers and society at large regarding the importance of addressing mental health concerns of individuals and families.

Key psychological ideas and interpretations include:

1. Invisible wounds of the ‘identified patient’: Psychological distress and dysfunctions are often trivialized and not considered to be something that needs to be addressed. Here, the child’s anxiety and panic attacks were initially not validated as a problem to be addressed. But eventually, on acceptance of it as one, it propelled the family into the journey of therapy.

2. Children as emotional barometers in the family: Systemic stress in the family often is reflected through the outward symptoms of children. In the context of this series, the child’s symptoms manifested the unprocessed emotional distress of the family.

3. Denial, projection, and rationalization: Denial is showcased as a defense mechanism both for the family and each individual. As a family, holding on to the façade of being a ‘perfect family’ was prioritized rather than addressing the malfunctions in the system. Dysfunction in the family was seen as a sign of ‘failure’. Each individual held on to the image of being ‘self-adjusting’. Because of denial, resistance and minimization were seen as roadblocks in the initial part of therapy. Projection and rationalization were also seen in the patriarch’s choice of refusal of acknowledgement of the problems.

4. Stigma associated with mental health and therapy: The show portrays this stigma and busts myths like ‘therapy is for ‘crazy’ people’ and ‘experiencing psychological distress is a sign of weakness and/or failure.’ The show’s primary goal is to destigmatize professional help and normalize mental health conversations within Indian households. Therapy is portrayed as a sign of commitment to awareness, acceptance, growth, and well-being through introspection and change, and not a failure as a family or an individual. 

5. Attachment styles and relationship dynamics: Earlier emotional attachments (especially with parents or primary caregivers) affect the dynamics of adult relationships, especially marital relationships. Characters who grew up with inconsistent emotional support (with unmet needs) developed insecure attachment styles and had difficulty with intimacy and conflict management.

6. Generational trauma: The show successfully pictures the influence of intergenerational patterns in current thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. The patriarch uses anger, control, authority, and traditionalism to shield his insecurities. This contributes to developing a sense of self-depreciation in the son and his need for external validation, leading to his resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Regarding the women in the family, self-sacrifice and suppression of personal emotions and aspirations are considered to be a gender role, which leads to conflict and individual stress.

7. Repression and other harmful coping mechanisms: The harmful effects of repression are portrayed in all the characters. Instead of assertive verbalization of emotions, they resorted to unhealthy coping mechanisms like anger, denial, alcohol abuse, displacement, submission to patriarchy, compulsive religious chanting, unhealthy sexual behaviours, self-harm, use of work as a crutch to avoid addressing reality, and stress eating.

8. Therapy portrayed in the right way: Unlike many books and movies, the makers have responsibly curated a realistic image of therapy. Busting myths, therapy is portrayed as a process and not a quick fix or magic wand, and as a journey and not a solution-generating system. As the characters move from resistance to participation in therapy, it shows that healing through therapy requires honest introspection into one’s dysfunctions and deliberate work on them. The therapist adopting an empathetic, professional, non-judgemental approach to facilitate and assist self-reflection and change is very rightly shown instead of depicting the therapist as a friend, preacher, or problem solver. Therapy is shown as a non-linear journey of healing. The therapist here focuses more on asking the right questions rather than providing answers and solutions. It shows the development of awareness and acceptance of the characters’ contribution to the dysfunctional family dynamics and their efforts to work on them. But definitely not ‘elimination’ of dysfunction and restoration of ‘perfect’ harmony, which mirrors the attribute of real-life therapy of being an ongoing process of learning and healing.

This show is a solicitous initiative to highlight the fact that the phrase ‘perfect family’ is but an oxymoron. This attempt can be appreciated as an effort towards releasing the pressure of being ‘perfect’ as a family. It highlights that bonds of support, communication, and understanding, with an intent to change and grow, are more important than putting up with the idea of ‘performing’ as a happy and perfect family.