Be Your Own Best Friend: Learn How to Love Yourself

Developing an attitude to be your own best friend takes time. It cannot happen overnight. It will take lot of your effort, time, and patience to develop a relationship with oneself. It is same as you develop a friendship with your friend. Before we make our best friends, we spend time with them by calling, making plans, face all ups and down and then we end up being friends for life.

Are you puzzled by how to be your own best friend? Are you wondering if this is a possibility? Well yes, this is possible. You can have many friends but still you can be your own friend too.

It is quite easy to get some advice from your best friends about what you should do and what you should not. But all their advices sometimes are of no use because we as an individual are always in conflict with our brain. Our brain directs us in some way while our heart directs in some other. The brain always gives a negative slant to whichever situation we are in and there comes the real issue.

In this constant tug-of-war, sometimes it is seen that our brain protects us from being too practical. Let us take an example, as to why it is important to be your own friend. So, let’s assume that you had an interview and you decided to give it a shot. While your brain will warn you that you might not crack the interview because the competition is very tough, on the other hand, your friends or your best friend would probably remind you the facts that will save you from sadness and anxiety. They will rather remind you of you being a deserving candidate, your qualifications, etc. But, at that point, our minds are already involved with the rejection and we have many things to fight with at the back of our mind.

So, for the sake of self-care, it is important to learn how to love yourself. 

Understand the tone of self-talk

The very first step would be to determine the tone. Because you might have noticed that our monologue includes both positive and negative sides. Make sure you do not talk excessively negative to yourself. Knowing the correct tone to talk to yourself is the first lesson in knowing how to love yourself.

Because negative thoughts are obstructive, lead to low self-worth and you tend to behave in a restrictive way. Try to figure out if your monologue is good or nasty. You should tell all those things to yourself that your friend would tell you. Remember you should talk in a way that brings hope and helps you out and not as someone who will bring you down. This is because, a true friend is one who will bring out the best in you and walk with you through thick and thin. A true friend will never make you feel that you are less worthy.

Think how your best friend would have responded to you

If you are unable to distinguish whether your monologues are nasty or nice, then just picture in your mind how your best friend would respond in that particular situation. Think how they would talk to you then. True friends will encourage you no matter how desperate the situation is. Take self-care by encouraging yourself to the last limit. Have faith and courage, and you will see a better version of yourself.

Focus on the relationship you want

Observe how you want your relationship to be with yourself. Do you want to be your enemy or you want a loving relationship with yourself? Try not to be a bully. Nobody likes being bullied, because bullying is destructive and the scars of bullying remains with us for long. So, do not bully yourself, love yourself and have positivity within yourself. Think about positive things and talk to yourself in a positive way, this will attract only positivity in your life.

Fight with your inner self and makeup at the earliest

We all fight with our best friends but come back on track after sometime. It is quite natural that you fight with yourself. We tend to fight with our negative side because that seems to be louder than the positive side sometimes. It is natural to fall down but remember that you have to bounce back harder. Forgive yourself and move on with more positivity.

Call your friend

If in the beginning, when you cannot figure out what and how your friend would react, then just call them. Tell them the situation you are in, and ask for their advice. If they are your true friends then they will understand our situation and suggest the best for you. They will encourage and bring out the best in you. However, the ultimate aim should be being able to do this on your own.

Developing such an attitude takes time. It cannot happen overnight. It will take lot of your effort, time, and patience to develop a relationship of self-care with yourself. It is same as you develop a friendship with your friend. Before we make our best friends, we spend time with them by calling, making plans, face all ups and down and then we end up being friends for life.

The aforementioned steps will help you to develop a meaningful relationship with yourself. You will have such a strong connection with yourself that you will be able to face every difficult situation that comes in your life.

It is true that having best friend is always a nice thing but what’s even better is to be your own friend. You do not have to fear of losing your best friend due to some situation or incidents as you cannot lose yourself. You will be always be there for yourself, however turns life takes.

Conclusion

In conclusion, you may try these steps to foster the best friend in you: spend time with yourself in order to know yourself, set up some achievable goals for yourself, try to find a place out of your comfort zone, indulge in activities that allow you to stay alone such as meditation, surfing, etc., treat yourself well and go on a date with yourself, and compliment yourself even on your bad days.

Be your own best friend to ensure that you are never alone through life’s thick and thin.

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