Valentine’s Day: When Love is being Stupid Together

“You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." Every February 14, across the world, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St Valentine. Couples post their ‘romantic evenings’ all over social media and there is a sea of reels. Broadcasting their relationship to the world seems like a craze for living in it and enjoying each other.

According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl–possibly his jailor’s daughter–who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today. February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.

The history of Valentine’s Day–and the story of its patron saint–is shrouded in mystery. The Catholic Church recognises at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realising the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasise his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and–most importantly–romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine became one of the most popular saints in England and France. Some claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianise” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman God of Agriculture, as well as to Rome’s founders Romulus and Remus. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city’s bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity and but was outlawed—as it was deemed “un-Christian”–at the end of the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius declared February 14, St Valentine’s Day.

It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February should be a day for romance.Many assume that Geoffrey Chaucer is somehow responsible for Valentine Day . Exactly how he is responsible for it, nothing is known than one poem written by Chaucer The Parliament of Fowls for February 14 and many end up with claims ranging from “Chaucer invented Valentine’s Day,” to “Chaucer invented St Valentine,” to “Chaucer wrote the first Valentine.” Love birds remain a popular symbol of Valentine’s Day even now, and for this we can thank Chaucer. Chaucer’s most famous work is The Canterbury Tales, an enormous collection of linked stories in poetry and prose. But his 700-line poem “Parlementof Foules” has the special distinction of being the first surviving record of a connection between Valentine’s Day and romantic love. Chaucer probably composed the poem in 1381–82. At the time, he was a member of the court of King Richard II, holding an important bureaucratic position in London. The date suggests that Chaucer wrote “Parlement of Foules” to honour the first anniversary of the engagement of the English King to Princess Anne of Bohemia.The poem follows the dream of the narrator, where he walks through Venus’s temple and discovers a meeting of birds where they all choose their mates. This is where the mention of St Valentine’s Day appears --For this was on St. Valentine’s Day,/When every bird cometh there to choose his mate. The poem also contains a familiar Valentine’s image, Cupid with his arrows:Under a tree, beside a well, I saw /Cupid our lord his arrows forge and file;/And at his feet his bow already lay.When Chaucer mentions StValentine’s Day, he is referring specifically to February 14th. Celebration of love is a part of literature no less and a huge body of literature sprouted in the name of Valentine Day. Poets try to affirm love on Valentine Day in a way Hamlet reaffirms it in Act 2 Sc 2 “Doubt thou, the Starres are fire,/Doubt, that the Sunne doth moue: /Doubt Truth to be a Lier,/ But neuer Doubt, I loue.”

Some are now complaining that the members of Pro-Valentine grousp are female-centric. The Anti -Valentine’s Day crusade which has been going on for several years also argue that Valentine’s Day actually creates more problems in relationships than any good that it does. For a couple, it can be a cauldron of unmet expectations and an excuse to not be sincerely romantic in the other 364 days of the year and it becomes more of a competition. On Valentine’sDay we are somehow pressured to be grossly commercial. A plethora of advertisements for buying a Diamond ring or a five star hotel holiday package creates problems for the young lovers who are still unemployed and no less so for the middle class people. Such costly Valentine’s day celebration is beyond their reach. The idea of walking around in stores hangs over them like an albatross. To combat the hype of commercialism and rituals one Anti-Valentine’s Day supporter wrote, “You can love someone any day of your life”. Another great competition is sending messages of love. Crafting a good love message becomes a challenge for many. They copy from each other and sometimes the same message goes viral. Preparing special candle light dinners can be intimidating. Sophisticated sweets on romantic nights, especially heart shaped chocolates and cakes are planned by some.You love or hate, heart accessories cannot be ignored. Some half-broken relationships are tuned up during the Valentine waves. Seasonal cards and songs especially designed for Valentine’s Day can be matter for research on romance and marital relationship. When Valentine’s Day has become inclusive of friends and family to show how much you care and love them, companies have seized the opportunity to fit their products and services into the Valentine Day period to benefit from the sales boost as it continues to grow each year.

One interesting survey brings out a savoury fact on pets. It reveals that 23 per cent of single women would rather spend Valentine’s Day with their pet than their romantic partner while only 7 per cent of single men say the same. It is a wrong perception that Valentine’s Day is for unmarried people. In fact, now married people celebrate the day no less than their unmarried counterparts. Only the big question remains as to what will the unmarried people having no partner do on Valentine’s Day.

Dr. Ratan Bhattacharjee International Visiting Professor USA is a trilingual poet