‘Whale’ you love me forever this Valentine’s?

With love from a whale loving valentine!

By Seema Azharuddin

Whales are amongst my favorites of the mammal kingdom. Lofoten, Norway, Vikings, Faroe Island, Japan have celebrated the color red in whale rage blood and one you do not see or associate with a valentine day or two…..while the next day and as early as tomorrow the world will see red in roses, ribbons, red velvet cake and even lingerie, to honor the many cycles of love, lust and emotions tied to them, it was hard to ignore the washing ashore of the recent whale stranding of over 500 some pilot whales in New Zealand.

This distressing picture lead to going into the past and present pictures of voluntary killings of whales, both as a traditiol sport as well as for the use of its blubber and other parts for centuries. This had me transported to a ‘red love’ of a different ture , a red personification of “the kill”, a red notification of harpooned ‘minke’ whales in astonishing numbers , everyday out at sea, even though for whales there is a intertiol moratorium in place for commercial whaling, but alas, it goes on!

This Valentine’s Day I choose to dedicate my love to these mammals of splendor, of magnimous size and blubber, of aquatic affect, to their likeness of a Moby Dick to who would remember their closet relative is a hippopotamus? Described amongst other things for its ‘divinity’, the whale (and some of this with the help of Wikipedia studies) uses its ‘whistles’ and ‘clicks’ to attract their females and for the purpose of Valentine’s day, I am willing to imagine they call on their ’babes’ with a  twinkle in their salty watery eyes! As open creatures of the sea, whales, are known to teach, learn, co –operate, scheme and grieve, much like lovers on V day! Romancing a whale, I’m thinking, would probably be easier! I’m certain, turned on as I maybe with my thoughts, my vowel sounds would surely respond to the whale songs quicker than they would to that of a human male….and yes, they, the whales, sing!

Interesting findings I’ve learned about whales compel me to compare the cells of the neo cortex in whales with that of the human. In humans these cells are involved in social conduct, emotions, judgment, and theory of mind. In the human called ‘Male’, a very tricky and perverse species and in love, these cells truly need to learn the art of emotiol translation to where they matter. I truly believe this to be true and necessary and so found it important to reaffirm.

Toggling between the human male and the male whales, I am compelled to say, that if it’s true that size matters, (and its not my heart talking), then worthiness for a gentleman whale is what my ‘paracingulate’ cortex will assess for a mate rather than for the human mate! This actually, translates to a desire, a fantasy even!  I kid you not and this said at the risk of annoying my human male lover, whose whistle and click leaves much to be desired!

While the three chemically driven stages of love ( lust, attraction and attachment) may or may not equate to or end up having a long shelf life, in an open sea of affections, the domint fin male whale  call on their mates,  long distance with a song – only the male sings and from the time of mating to breeding, they stay with their pod, forever!  This Valentine’s day,  I would give anything for a song, to be able to swim the seas, to listen to the most powerful and ubiquitous biological sounds in the ocean, anything! And I would give anything to not see the color red displayed either for the sake of cruel tradition or meat or blubber, but red as on Valentine’s Day, of all the things that express love. So, when my man calls to ask me for a date on V day, my answer I think will be, “call later, darling, for I am waiting for a long distance song”!

To all you valentines and ‘valentinos ‘ out there celebrating, if you see a whale come ashore, send it back to the sea or ocean and when it sings, “ Whale you love me forever”, answer, “ yes , forever and ever”!

 I picked up this chocolate at the airport yesterday and could not believe its cover!  V day is here. Stay in love. Have a whale of a time!

(Seema Azharuddin can be contacted at

Phone No: 9949001604