'I hate my mother... she is a witch'

Diary maintained by Shee Bora when she was a teeger shows that she shared a strained relationship with her mother Indrani Mukherjea

Mumbai, Sept 3: Mumbai police have recovered the diary of Shee Bora which bears testimony as to how much she hated her mother Indrani Mukherjea.

E-mail exchanges of an aggressive ture between Indrani Mukherjee and Shee Bora are already being probed by the Mumbai Police.

The diary entries also reveal Shee's expectations from her father.

Accessed by a tiol daily, the diary of Shee, the Guwahati girl allegedly murdered by her own mother, has "slam notes from friends, phone numbers and letters to her father".

It is clear from the diary entries that Shee "was sad about not being around her biological father Siddhartha Das and repeatedly urged him to come and visit her".

The contents of the letters to her father suggest that Shee was in touch with Siddharth Das. However, Das has told the media that he was barely in touch with Shee Bora, who started writing her diary sometime in 2003.

One of her earlier diary entries say: "Daddy, I am very angry with you. O.k. I didn't get any time to write any letter to you but you should have written to me. Very mean ha! Well, even I am sorry for not writing any letter to you. In Class X, we have to work very hard. In the morning at 7.30. We have to go to school and again I have to attend my maths coaching class 3 O'clock to 4.30 pm and again from 6 O'clock to 8 O'clock my science coaching class. I reach home at about 8.30 pm. Hope you can imagine how hard I'm working.''

She also writes: "Daddy, I've cut my ils and I haven't grown them long. I'm following your advice - first studies then style. I know you have a lot to tell me but daddy don't write anything in any of your letter. I hope you'll come once before my HSLC exams. Why don't you make a trip to Guwahati in December. Then you can tell me everything you wanted me to know.''

In a 'draft' letter, Shee says: "Daddy actually I'm facing a problem. For my HSLC, I'm to fill up some forms and there we are to write to which caste we belong. Daddy, I'm really very confused for I am not sure about my caste. We have got the options - Schedule/OBC/...".

The entry she made when she had just appeared for her pre-boards says that she could not study much due to her illness and scored 84 percent. She further asks her father in one of the letters: "Don't you have the capability of starting something from (sic) your own instead of depending upon others." She also advises him to leave the job at HITACHI KK and look for a better one. And in the same letter, she adds: "Oh! It seems as if I am trying to guide you."

In one of the entries, Shee asks Das to provide her with a certificate so that she could get scholarships for her further studies. The diary entry, marked June 28, 29 and 30, says that Shee wanted her father to make expenses for her future.

In one of her later entries, which looks like it was written when she was studying for the board exams in Class X, she says that she does not know how to look for envelopes, and so has been uble to send letters. The entry also speaks volumes about her affection with Das and unhappiness over her grandparent's attitude towards her father. "They say you are no good, and they don't like you. But my conscience does not allow me to believe them," she wrote.

The diary entries reveal that Shee had not known much about her mother. However, Indrani was in the 'corner of Shee's heart' because she was her mother. Notably, Shee had stored clippings of news reports of her mother. News reports of INX media launching new channels, of Indrani being considered WSJ's most powerful women with Indra Nooyi and others, etc were kept by Shee in a folder, says the daily.

Shee, as the diary suggests, was very lonely as a child. She writes: "Oh! Happy Birthday to me! But I am not happy. It seems as if I have got nothing in my life. Nothing! My future seems very bleak to me. Just depression has encircled me from all sides. Disgusting life it is. I hate my mother, that bloody b***h. She is not a mother. She is a witch...''

Shee was also not happy when Indrani married Peter Mukherjea. "And now she got married with that old man (Peter Mukherjea). Her this act to Aita & Kaka (Shee's grandparents) seems very prestigious, very wise, but not in case of me (Read: my grandparents may find this prestigious or wise, but not me). I hate her. I wish her soul gets condemned and even in hell. I have much grief, much tears to flow but when, where and in front of whom.''

E-mail exchanges of an aggressive ture between Shee Bora and her mother Indrani Mukherjee are being probed by the Mumbai Police to ascertain the motive leading to the former's killing.

Sometime before Shee's gruesome murder on April 24, 2012, there were at least 20 heated e-mail exchanges with her mother, prime accused Indrani.

Investigators are hoping that these e-mails could provide clues to the motive leading to Shee's killing, allegedly by the trio comprising Indrani, her ex-husband Sanjeev Khan in connivance with Indrani's driver Shyamvar Rai.