All About Big City Blues….

Rohit who had more than seven years of experience working in a corporate job, thought he had a faint idea of what actually was happening. This was to be another of the motivational, working in the group, focused target etc kind of thing, wherein their CEO would reveal the great depth of meaning in the exercise. And they were all expected to gawk in amazement at his intelligence and style of working. Of course, they would curse him silently, but their faces would have a broad smile and an expression of appreciation. It was a matter of their increment after all! 

Just one look and that's all it took…

The lines of her face, the bent of her jaw, the elegant ridge of her nose, her soft moist lips that effortlessly break into the most beautiful smile had imprinted itself into Rohit's memory with an intensity that almost surprised him. He could not fathom what it meant. But the feeling that washed over him, when she momentarily raised her eyes lids and glanced at him was something that he would want to indulge in again and again.

Her athletic body was wrapped in a cream sari, with the dupatta going over her right shoulder and cascading down her slender back. Her long fingers held on to its corner as gusts of careless wind swept through the half-finished building. She wore a silver bindi that shone against her fair sweaty skin and her glassy brown eyes exuded the light of the surroundings providing a glimpse of the depth they carried within.

Rohit never thought he had a poetic bent of mind, but her shapely frame accompanied by her elegant movements seemed like pure unblemished poetry in the midst of the raw dust smeared concrete. He rejoiced in it, trying to take in as much of her in the short time they were here.

She was probably from the marketing section. They had recently recruited a lot of new people. Their office had been bifurcated into the construction and the marketing wing. Rohit worked in the construction section; his office was not very far away from where he was now. The marketing section was housed in a swanky new building closer to the main district. Their entire office was supposed to meet there for the half-yearly review, but their boss had other plans.

An hour ago they received information about the change in venue. It was to be on the twelfth floor of an under-construction tower. Their CEO, it seemed believed more in working from the field than from the confines of the office. So dressed in their smart attire, they marched up the stairs, panting and sweating. A few cursed under their breath as their lux shirt and trousers stuck to their skin, causing them much discomfort. Some of their female colleagues who had worn high heels were forced to take them off and walk barefoot.

Rohit who had more than seven years of experience working in a corporate job, thought he had a faint idea of what actually was happening. This was to be another of the motivational, working in the group, focused target etc kind of thing, wherein their CEO would reveal the great depth of meaning in the exercise. And they were all expected to gawk in amazement at his intelligence and style of working. Of course, they would curse him silently, but their faces would have a broad smile and an expression of appreciation. It was a matter of their increment after all!

As Rohit and his colleagues traversed the last flight of stairs to reach the designated floor, he saw her.She appeared in front of them with a welcoming smile and looked fresh and bright as though she had just returned from a refreshing bath. He just couldn't keep his eyes off her. As she maneuvered herself talking to her friends and introducing herself to others, Rohit willingly avoided her. He kept her in his sight but moved in such a way that she never came in front of him. They would meet but it wouldn't be a routine official acquaintance; it had to be special.

She now stood a little away from where he was, her eyes overlooking the city below. The sun was readying itself to make its plunge into the horizon. Golden rays began to dance around them. The long open stretch of dusty floor interspersed with concrete pillars made it difficult to imagine that this morbid skeletal structure would be the epitome of luxury in the months to come.

Rohit in his career as a civil engineer had seen numerous structures being built. A flat piece of land would rise up to create architectural marvels. But ever since he had been associated with buildings he had come to love and immensely enjoy the intervening time between the bare structure and the complete building.

The wide expanse of wall less floors surrounded by the blue sky, replete with the possibility of transforming itself into any kind of apartment or office, with varied sized rooms and a thousand choices for the décor appealed to his weary heart for an unknown reason.

At times he would stand alone on the highrise floors and feel animated. It would be like returning to the lap of his adolescent dreams, where everything was drenched in the flavour of possibility and newness. Pessimism and doubt seemed like a faraway territory he would never set foot in. But life as an architect is unrelenting. It never listens to its clients. It makes walls and turns homes into offices or the vice versa. Sometimes hotels turn warm with love and homes become cold and unhospitable. To change something life had built, it requires effort, breaking down the concrete piece by piece, brick by brick. At times it takes a lifetime… to mend…to alter.

Against the backdrop of the blood-red sky, was her lone silhouette figure, framed by the concrete pillars and the protruding roof of the upper floor. Rohit stared at her for a long moment and decided it was time to make his move. He took a few steps forwards and stopped. He hesitated and again looked at her. The dying light of the sun drew a strong outline of her profile. She simply looked out of this world. An angelic being…that evoked a myriad of emotions in him. He could keep looking at her until perhaps the end of time.

But it was not to be. Time came to an abrupt stop and his reverie broken, as a fat round face entered into his line of sight. Prakash his colleague and his best buddy from the office was looking at him quizzingly. He shrugged and said: "What's up, man…you look so lost ?"

Rohit shook his head and looked the other way.

" This is our chance…" said Prakash " I have got the news that boss liked our concept paper. It all depends on the presentation now…we got to give our best shot. If this clicks, nobody can stop our promotion"

Rohit knew how important today's meeting was for both of them. For months together they had prepared for it. But as the day came near, he seemed to lose the enthusiasm. It doesn't matter anymore. They would get a promotion, a bigger office, a little extra money to take home…so what? How does it change anything for him? He would remain where he was in his life.

Prakash held him by his shoulder and dragged him to the corner. He kept his laptop on a wooden plank and began going through the presentation. Rohit's eyes alternated between his face and the screen. He was trying hard to maintain his composure. His barging into his act of meeting her had irritated him.

Prakash closed the laptop and patted Rohit's shoulder.

"I understand what you must be going through," he said.

Rohit folded his arms. He didn't want to have this conversation.

"Is there nothing that could be done…I mean why don't you talk to her again…It might work this time"

Rohit shook his head "Have done everything. She is adamant she wants a divorce"

"Too bad…you two made a great couple"

The words rang in Rohit's ears like a death knell, again bringing in the oppressive weight that had been bogging him down all these months.

Their boss arrived. He spoke on the expected lines of teamwork, motivation, targets, quality control etc…Rohit stopped listening midway and instead kept looking at her. Once or twice she even glanced in his direction. She smiled; he saw it or maybe his wary mind was just imagining things.

His fingers tightened around the driving wheel as he willed himself not to think. He had to bring this to a stop or else he would end up ruining himself. He couldn't just surrender -not without a fight. But what options did he have?!

The meeting had been over more than an hour ago. One by one everyone left, leaving him alone in the parking lot. He had nowhere to go. He once had a place called home but none of it remains now. He had been talking with his boss when the girl left. But that doesn't matter as they are in the same office…They are bound to bump into each other.

Rohit stepped out of the car and walked along the empty parking lot. He decided to continue with the routine of the past few weeks…To stay late at the office and reach home around midnight. A slow drizzle started making the air heavy and humid. He crossed the road and began walking at a slow leisurely pace. There was no hurry…it was not that someone was waiting for him.

He and Vandana had been married for five years. There was so much love, caring and beauty in their relationship that Rohit couldn't understand how things could have come to this! In the past few weeks, he had wracked his brains trying to understand where things had gone wrong. Both he and his wife had worked hard to build their family. They had their problems. All couples do. No two people can think alike. Rohit thought it was all part of becoming a family.

But somewhere in the process fault lines developed, which had now turned into an abyss. They were left with either of the two choices. To jump into it and destroy themselves or decide on their own paths. The second option was the logical one. But love is something that always defied logic.

Rohit craned his neck trying to glance at the summit of their multi-storied office building. It rose like a pillar of light disappearing into the darkness above. It was their company that had built this structure. One of the tallest structures in the city! He was one of the consulting engineers in the project. For him as well as his colleagues this was the crowning achievement of their careers.

The superfast elevator took him to the seventeenth floor where his office was situated. Ram Sing their night watchman led him through the empty corridor past the darkened open plan office to his glass cubical. For the last few weeks, this man had been his companion of the night. He brought him food and other necessities. And when he left, he made sure that his office was in order.

"Should I get you something to eat sir?" asked Ram Singh.

"The usual…but tell them to make it less spicy" replied Rohit.

Rohit sat on the chair and swerved it around. The city glimmered in front of him. He closed his eyes and leaned back as tiredness began to crawl through his muscles. For the last few days, he hadn't been sleeping. He needed to rest.

The door to his cubicle swung open. It jerked Rohit out of his reverie. He was surprised to see the girl standing in front of him. She held out a brown manila envelope. Rohit glanced at her with a perplexed expression. Why was she here?

He took the envelope and pulled out the contents. It was their divorce papers. He felt himself go numb with anxiety. He looked at her pleadingly and asked; "Can anything be done?"

"No" she said in a firm voice. "The decision had been taken"

"Vandana please…" cried Rohit.

If travelling back in time was an option, Rohit would have given anything for it. He would have started afresh, right from the moment when he first met Vandana, on that hot humid evening when their office had gathered atop a under constructed building for their quarterly review meet. The heat was beating them down when like a breeze of cool air Vandana had walked in. Her refreshing smile, her elegant movements, and her silk-like voice drew lines of poetry on the stark lifeless concrete of the surrounding. Rohit couldn't help but fall in love with her.

He was now beginning to have this desperate wish to completely rebuild his life-to do things in a different and better way. He would be careful not to repeat his mistakes. But the walls had been build, the rooms constructed and the furnishings had been put in place. To change it, he would have to raze everything to the ground. Every brick, every piece of concrete and steel had to be reduced to dust.

Rohit stared into the emptiness that engulfed him. "Vandana" he muttered under his breath. His voice seemed to go on forever traversing an all-pervading nothingness. No walls could stop it, no steel could bend it. All it left behind was a trail of lost and lonely dust.

By: Emon NC

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