GUWAHATI BYTES: Racing Parents

Rituparna Goswami Pande

From the race to fertilisation or the race among one’s peers to excel in academics, from racing in the professional field to rise above the milieu..... race sure never leaves us alone. Life has turned into a sort of a race. And the seeds of race are sown in the womb itself as it is evident enough.

Once out in the world the eggs / children are in for a rude shock with the whole school admission brouhaha. And parents obviously brought up in the same spirit of competition vie to reach the school counter handing out a thousand forms albeit for a handful of seats in the Pre School classes. Though one needs to introduce the guardians to the concept of the e-forms that can be downloaded from the school websites of the schools that one seeks admission to.

After the filling of forms is done and dusted begins the interview preparedness mania among the wards. The little ones are dragged from one coaching class to another, from one tuition session to the other to be spoon fed, parrot trained about every possible query that might come their way in the interview room. While the little ones sit dazed in the appointed area, frolicking without a care in the world the parents are a sight not to be missed. Eyes squinted and focussed on the errant children and hearts pounding aloud in anticipation. Yes, school admissions are no less than a nightmare for parents!

And the competition does not end there rather it is just the beginning of the numerous other that comes with school life. However, interestingly it is the parents who are the most competitive during the entire academic journey of their children!

From securing the highest score in every term tests, to participating and winning every cultural, sports or debating event the parents want their children to be the best in everything. As a result the child hardly gets a chance to blossom in a natural environment. As soon as the school bell marks the end of school, the child hurries to change gear and jump into the pool for swimming classes, tennis lessons or the music classes after school.

The parents are seen turning into beasts of burden as they carry

heavy equipments like sports gear, change of clothes or extra lunch boxes to cater to their children. While the children sweat it out in the games room or playgrounds, the parents are found patiently biding time mingling with other parents.

“I am worried about my daughter,” said a parent of a student from Class I. “She did not fare well in the Maths Exam.” “Really, what was her score?,” asked the other. “Shesecured 99 out of 100!” stated the other with a sullen expression. “Dear Lord, what else do you expect from her, she has excelled in the subject already!” said the other parent.

Such is the levels of expectations from unrealistic and hyper parents, pushing children to the breaking point from such a tender age. So much so that children of such parents live in constant paranoia of exams and academics. These are the children who resort to unfair means while appearing for exams and lying to parents for fear of being chastised for little mistakes.

If the daily pulling and pushing around in the school is not enough parents have this urge to turn their children into a Jack of all and a master of none entity with cramming Abacus classes between tennis lessons and Art classes or music classes. “I like to keep my two boys occupied the whole day as it keeps them out of mischief,” stated a college lecturer who is too exhausted by the time she gets home to spend time with the kiddos. “I rely on my private tutor to keep my children abreast of her

studies,” she adds. So the little time the boys are home they are sitting by the study table.

Many parents prefer to keep the children out of their way by depositing a tab, laptop or smart phone on their lap to keep the occupied and out of their hair. As a result of which children are seen indulging in a lot of screen time rather than doing actual activities. No wonder the numbers of children complaining of eye aberrations are on the rise every day.

The playgrounds are empty for the exact same reasons as children are spending more times in front of the idiot box than getting their hands dirty on the gravel of the ground. Parents suffer from an age old syndrome of trying to turn their own unfulfilled wishes into reality through their children. This in turn makes the kids a scapegoat in the altars of the parents’ own whims and fancies.

In the race for perfection it has become a trend for parents to constantly interfere in their school activities. School projects have turned into a medium for parents to be one up on each other as they seem to hijack the projects from their kids and turn it into their own. What are we teaching our kids in the process?

Instead of pressurizing our children to perform parents need to encourage their wards and act as a positive influence of growth. Parents being a key player in a child’s life need to instill the good qualities of confidence, hard work and perfection coupled with the spirit to handle failure as well.

It is our duty to motivate and not threaten our children into performing well and teach them to live life and not turn life into a race for perfect living.

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