Mind over Matter Part 1 | 19 Jan, 2020

1. I am 20 year old male and in my childhood, I was sexually abused by three persons, one of them being my relative. After growing up I am evolving from such a shock and trying to develop myself like any other general boy. But the problem is that sometimes I feel an interest towards boys instead of girls. There is no doubt that I always wanted to have relation with girls and not with boys. But I don't know what and why it is happening to me. I am in a dilemma.

(Name withheld)

Ans: It is extremely unfortunate what you have had to go through this as a child. Childhood is a time of innocence and discovery. What you went through is sad. There are lot of sick persons in our society who derive pleasure from such activities. Please remember that whatever happened to you as a child it is not your fault. Please seek professional counselling at the earliest. It will help deal with all your unresolved feelings and issues. Take care.

1. Hello Madam, I am studying in the 8^th standard. There is a boy who disturbs me. If I pass through the road, he always passes bad comment. I feel scared to pass by them. It is affecting my studies a lot. I keep thinking about it all the time. I never reach my goal. How do I get rid of this? Please help.

(Name withheld)

Ans: What you state is a serious matter. This should not be taken lightly. Please inform your parents at the earliest. They will deal with it in the appropriate manner. Do not engage in any kind of quarrel with this boy. Let the elders deal with it. If possible for a while do not move around alone. Take care.

11. Maam, I am a girl of 18years and studying in standard 11. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I have moved on in my life. But my boyfriend says that he wants me back in his life. I told him that it's not possible but he is forcing me to accept him again. Please advise me what to do.

(Name withheld)

Ans: My girl, no one in this world can force them to do something against your will. Unless you allow that to do so! You have moved on with your life and that's that. If someone else is having a problem because of that, it's their problem. Not yours. Stay busy with your studies and other extracurricular activities. Don't allow anyone else to rule over your life.

1. Dear madam, I am a 18 year old boy and I love one girl but she doesn't love me. I am a student of class 12 (science). For this I can't concentrate in my studies. My board exams are going to start after one month. Please help.

(Name withheld)

Ans: Your board exams are scheduled to start after a month and you want to waste your time pining away for unrequited love! Sure go ahead and waste your time! This way you will not only ruin your career but also ruin any chances of having a personal life later on. Your priorities in life are totally messed up! Now you should be studying day and night and preparing for your exams. Put other issues aside. There is plenty of time later on to think about love.

(Ms. Gariasi Dutta, MSW (TISS) is a Psychological Counsellor at down town hospital, Guwahati. She may be contacted at 98640-55560 or mail at dutta.gariasi@gmail.com)