MIND OVER MATTER | 25 Feb, 2020

• Dear Madam, I have been facing a particular problem. I have noticed that people I meet just become friendly for a short period of time and then stop being friendly with me. Even when I think that I can build a lifelong friendship with someone, it does not work out. Is anything wrong with me?

(Name withheld)

Ans: You have to conduct a self analysis for this problem at hand. Introspect if you treat the people in your life with care and respect. Or do you tend to use them for your own gain? These are issues you need to think over. Simply having a long list of friends is not sufficient. We need to be able to give them time, our adequate concern and also make them feel important in our lives. Are you doing that? How is your behaviour towards your friends? Think over these points at length. You shall get your answer!

• I tend to get very tense and anxious at all times. I end up thinking too much usually. I also get very emotional at times. Please give me some tips to be patient. I lose my patience even on trivial matters.

(Name withheld)

Ans: What you have described usually depends a great deal on your personality - some of us are able to manage stress better than others. Since there is only so much you can do to alter your personality, here are some suggestions that might help:

- Try to distance yourself from the stressful situation when you can: If, for example, you're having an argument with someone that is causing you stress, move away. Say you will discuss the matter later and go do something else to take your mind off it. Go for a walk, watch TV, talk to a friend, anything that will allow you to forget about the argument for that time.

- You can even take up Yoga or some such meditational activity that'll help you to relax.

- Join some hobby/crafts clubs and make new friends.

Hope this helps. Best of luck!

• I found your contact number in mélange magazine. I am 24 years old and I want to plan for my aunt's future life. I am tense for I feel unable to do so. She is mentally abnormal. She does her household work fine but she talks and laughs alone, and sometimes while working also. Tell me what to do.

(Name withheld)

Ans: I am sorry to hear about your aunt. Appreciate the fact that you think about your family members. Going through the symptoms, it appears your aunt is suffering from a psychiatric problem. However, it is important to meet your aunt to make a clinical diagnosis. My suggestion is please consult with a Psychiatrist at the earliest. The sooner a confirmed diagnosis is made, medications can be started. This will help control and gradually eliminate the symptoms. Do feel free to discuss further with me. Take care.

(Mrs. Gariasi Dutta is a Psychological Counsellor with down town hospitals, Guwahati. She can be contacted at 98640-55560 or dutta.gariasi@gmail.com)