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Mind Over Matter | 2 Oct, 2018

Sentinel Digital Desk

  1. How should one deal with a moody partner? He loves you but cannot adjust with you. His mood changes frequently. On one moment, he loves you and the next moment he gets angry at your mistakes. I love him and I know that he loves me too. But something is disturbing him, which he cannot share with me. We have an age difference of 7 years - Is that the problem? If yes, then tell me how to adjust with it? I feel depressed due to his behaviour.
    (Name withheld)

Ans: Age difference is not related to the problem, and most couples need good communication to adjust with each other. What needs to be done is that both of you should have empathy for each other, and you should communicate your thoughts - both positive or negative – and all emotions, clearly and directly, with each other. You need to express your concerns and distresses to him, and give each other sometime. If there are continued problems, consultation with a psychiatrist for couple counselling sessions would help.

  1. I am 22 years old. I had sex recently. But now I don't think that I am a good person. Please help me. (Name withheld)

Ans: What is done cannot be undone. So I would suggest just leave it be. There is not much you can do regarding this at the moment. Stay busy with creative activities. However, let me just share that engaging in reckless physical relationships is not a very good idea in today's date and time - both in terms of health and hygiene and personal well-being. Set your life first, you will find somebody to share your life with eventually. All the best!

  1. Madam, I am a girl of 18 years and studying in Standard 11. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I have moved on in my life. But my boyfriend says that he wants me back in his life. I told him that it's not possible but he is forcing me to accept him again. Please advise or help me what to do. (Name withheld)

Ans: My girl, no one in this world can force them to do something against your will. Unless you allow that to do so! You have moved on with your life and that's that. If someone else is having a problem because of that, it's their problem. Not yours. Stay busy with your studies and other extracurricular activities. Don't allow anyone else to rule over your life.

  1. Madam, I am 16 years old. My exams are approaching but I have a problem. A boy of my age, who is my childhood friend, has fallen in love with me. I too love him. But now when I sit to study, only his thoughts disturb my concentration. So please help me. I am really worried that it will affect my results. Hope you understand me and my situation and please help me out!(Name withheld)

Ans: Well, you are definitely in trouble! Dreaming, thinking about your boyfriend is not going to bring about good results. You have to try very hard and concentrate for your exam preparation. Try not to meet him or talk to him now till your exams are over. Inform him about this decision. If he really cares about you, he will understand. Follow a strict study schedule. If you are facing too much of distraction, use concentration techniques. Just remember you can pursue a relationship later on in your life too. But if your exams are hampered, your future career will get hampered. Buck up and start studying seriously!

(Ms. Gariasi Dutta is Psychological Counsellor with down town hospitals, Guwahati. She can be contacted at 98640-55560 or dutta.gariasi@gmail.com)

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