The World without Ma: A Tribute

As I was waiting at the Delhi airport to catch the early morning flight to reach home to perform Ma's last rites, a profound void engulfed me, and three thoughts kept ringing in my mind: I lost my shield, my constant cheerleader, the person who prayed for our well-being daily. So invaluable and irreplaceable! The anguish of not being by her bedside in her final days is all-encompassing, and I felt the least I could do was celebrate her extraordinary life.

Ma, Hemalata Chaliha, affectionately known to many as "Aideu Baideu,"  left for her heavenly abode on November 4, 2025, to join her husband, the late Debabrata Chaliha (Deta), and her three beloved children, Shikha, Ranjan, and Porosh. Many who have offered condolences have referred to her passing as "The End of an Institution," a sentiment I am deeply touched by.

It's incredible to see how only with her 8th grade education, Ma influenced countless people through her genuine interest, love, kindness, and grace. She was equally known for her outspoken nature, often saying what was on her mind without fear of criticism or being disliked by others. She held no grudges, and also protected her children, who were her world, like a fierce tigress.

Ma was born on February 2, 1933, the eldest of three children (all of whom predeceased her), to the late Bhuban Chandra Deka and the late Padmawati Deka. Growing up, Ma was bold, beautiful, and robust, possessing a clear awareness of her good looks. Ma was doted on by her Jethais, Pehis, and cousins. This attention stemmed from the fact that Koka was the only son in the family, and he passed away when Ma was very young. Ma possessed a sharp intellect, excelled in Math, and was skilled in arts and crafts. At the age of 18, she was married into the prestigious Chaliha family of Sivasagar. Moving from a small-town, single-family household led by a widowed mother to a large joint family must have been intimidating, but Ma quickly built her niche and admirably held the fort of the ancestral home, The Chaliha Bongola, for  years.

Ma never met her mother-in-law, the Late Kanaklata Chaliha, also the co-editor of the first Oxomiya women's magazine, "Ghor Jeuti", but was deeply influenced by her impeccable qualities. Just like Aita, Ma executed her projects with great precision and excellence, be it cooking, sewing, knitting, weaving, raising poultry and livestock, or gardening. I remember how after every major exam, Ma used to get us girls to complete a weaving project starting with tablemats after Matric exams leading to Gamosas, and finally to cotton Mekhela Sador after my B.A. exams. As little kids, she'd get us excited about running into our kitchen garden in the misty winter mornings to weed and water the cabbage patches. Every Bhado Mohiya Naam season, I watched Ma making tray loads of crispy triangular Nimkis to feed the Gopinis. Ma's expertise was not confined to household jobs only, she also mastered the art of repairing electrical gadgets like irons and ovens, and fix fuses. She held the position of a treasurer for Sivasagar Mahila Samiti for quite some time as well.   

Ma had her fair share of misfortunes dealing with Deta's ill health and losing him at a young age (she was in her 30's), then consecutively contending with the three of her children's chronic illness and eventual, absolutely untimely, and sudden deaths. At 95 years of age, the most recent death of her youngest child six months ago (her "Petmusa Lora") was too deep of an emotional blow to handle. At the same time, I witnessed Ma evolve spiritually with a deep acceptance of what is. Ma would always acknowledge me when I called saying, "Eijoni mur suwali, Roopa" and shower my picture with kisses. However, in the last month or so she no longer asked like she used to, "Majoni, Aijoni tumi ahi asa nohoi? Kun khini pala hi?"

I'm deeply indebted to Ma for teaching me the essential life skills I needed to thrive in this world - both in the East and the West. She instilled in me the importance of living within my means, fostering independence, and always holding my head up high. Most significantly, she taught me how to be resilient when faced with challenges. I'll carry with me her zest for learning (she was an avid reader, topics included politics, self-help, and mental health), her high regard for independence, and self-care.

The following quote from an unknown source resonates very aptly with my sentiments on Ma's loss: "Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed, and very dear."

Ruprekha Baruah

Sugar Land, Texas, USA

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