Married people engaging in extra-marital relationships have become the norm. The proof lies in the success of dating apps like Ashley Madison and Gleeden that offer married people a way to enter discreet relationships. One would assume that such relationships might feel like a weight, considering all the sneaking around that needs to be done to hide them from their married partners. However, Tammy Nelson, relationship therapist and consultant for Ashley Madison, says the secretive nature is really what attracts members to have affairs. She told WION, "Keeping these relationships discreet often plays a role in their appeal." In fact, hidden relationships also help counter day-to-day stress, according to a survey carried out by the website. "Hidden relationships can create a psychological buffer, a private world where someone doesn’t have to bring in outside pressures. In the short term, not telling anyone can reduce anxiety by compartmentalising stress," Nelson says.
The website recently also carried out a survey among its members, who admitted that “escapist romance” helps them stay sane amid "global stressors such as inflation and political uncertainty." The survey showed that nearly half of respondents (49%) admitted turning to new connections during stressful times, with women slightly more likely than men to seek out that sense of escape. "Seeking something new is a thrill when life gets overwhelming," Nelson says.
This is true for all age groups, according to her. The dating app for married people found that people are using relationships as coping mechanisms across demographics. Each age group has its own reason for casual dating, the biggest one being managing anxiety. The survey found that 21% of its members preferred casual dating to a committed relationship to manage anxiety better. "Stress is a universal experience, but different age groups cope differently," Nelson said. "Younger adults may turn to casual dating as a way to avoid feeling trapped when their careers and finances are uncertain. Midlife adults often face layered stress, including raising children, managing ageing parents, and financial strain," she added.
Escapist romance also helps them "feel more alive, younger, and avoid the fears of ageing." Nelson feels that in an age when the "world feels unstable, people seek love, passion, and intimacy as a reminder that they are still vibrant, desired, and connected." (Agencies)
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